Is the Romance Novel Cover Effect cheating? Not in this no-Gregs-barred match!

A Love that Dare not Speak Its Greg

Fifty Shades of Greg

And oh, what a Greg it brings. Our winner is the Babe _{(What babe?)} the Babe with the Power_{(What power?)} The Power of Gregskull! _{(What reference?)}

Serious props to whoever at Grammarly put “Greyskull” in their dictionary, but I’m still not changing it.

“In the style of” brings the full creative force of World-Renowned Concept Artist and Five-Time TeenBeat Cover Model Greg Rutkowski to bear with stunning results. It’s like he’s the love child of Jensen Ackles and a fitter, hotter, Greggier Jensen Ackles from the dimension where Supernatural ended with Season Five as planned, and Alternate Ackles became a high-paid professional bear wrestler.

You can choose to define “bear” however you want. I know what I’m picturing.

2-1 Gregules

That’s supposed to be a play on “Hercules,” not “Greg-ools” Well, too late to change it now.

Shut up, Grammarly, I said it’s Too. Late. To. Change. It.

The best Team “Only a dark void where once there was a Greg Rutkowski” can hope for now is a tie… but it looks to me like it’s time to put on a tutu. (2-2? get it? Get it? Don’t make me bring out more bad Greg puns. Eh, who am I kidding? They’re coming out anyway. We’re down to the last two Gregtestants, and Mr. Total Elipse of the Greg here looks nigh impossible to beat. Nigh, I say.

It’s the Final Gregdown

Dada dah daaah… Dada datdat daaa… Dada dah dah daaaah

The Final Gregdown

“Oh, I’m just stretching… You know how it goes. My long day at the gym got me all tuckered out. Guess I’ll just stare sexily into the distance, biceps bulging in a sexually attractive manner, completely oblivious to the sex-charged effect I have on women. And men. And enbies. And Elder Gods”

I’m gonna go ahead and call this a tie game. I don’t see how anything the Great Gregdini can conjure up could possibly beat this mesomorphic cupcake.

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